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The Jaded Japes of June 2008

What ho, my brainless boofheads! When Saturn and Uranus do battle, striking each other with fearsome buffet and mighty blow, you engage in tantric sex with an inebriated friend, write a masterwork (only to have it stolen by an inebriated member of your writer's group), or you try counting to ten using your fingers and toes, but get lost due to being inebriated.

A sneaky friend will steal your favourite toys, then smirk at you in an irritating but enigmatic fashion. Children deliberately disobey your wishes or parents disapprove of your friends or interests in an acerbic manner. You purchase machinery or devices so complex that you'll have to give them away to other (smarter) people to use.

Inebriated friends will steal your vibrating massage chair when you fall asleep at your party. Dishonest associates pilfer your investments. You'll study mediaeval pharmacy or Assyrian accounting, but nasty people scorn your efforts so you give up. You decide to carve balsa wood animals to fill models of Noah's Ark and take herbs to stop worrying about drowning.

TIPS FOR JADED JUNE:

Don't lend money to friends and avoid eccentric folk. You'll rearrange your furniture, hold a surprise party, wreck your romantic life with a stupid impulse or lose your temper at home and break something. The Full Moon in Sagittarius will see you over-indulge in sex, or spending, or both.

As the great Sol Invicti rolls into Cancer at the Solstice, you will ride in a sea green bus or eat in public. You will throw something sharp at an authority figure, visit an undertaker or an occultist, or will make something durable that'll bring success...

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