Astrology on the Web - Loathesome Leo

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The Oracle of Bitter Truth for April 2001
LOATHESOME LEO...

Just how much more of this are you lions expected to take? Well, that depends on whom you like to ask, but as far as the rest of us are concerned, there's a lot further down the slippery slope you can go yet. Whether your massive leonine egos can take any more is another question altogether. Uranus the awakener and mystic Neptune have been wreaking disruptive and confusing havoc by turns in your solar seventh house of marriage and partnership over the last few years. This will have put some of you in the divorce court, with lawyers still arguing the toss as to whether 'failure to give suitable adoration' is actually sufficient grounds for divorce.

And for those of you who rushed into illicit liaisons, you probably ended up with a bisexual mystic who cheated you out of your money and then wrote a 'kiss and tell' article or perhaps a 'new age' partner who demanded you share the joys of a breatharian diet. For those of you who are still in the same old place with the same old people, then you're lying to yourselves and everyone around you. For those of you who've embraced the changes with both hands, you have undoubtedly set up a religious cult, starring yourself as the reincarnation of some Bronze Age king from the ancient East with a name like Salutmyzelf the Third. But even this last lot of you might be wondering if the joys of ripping off a gullible public are worth the effort of pretending to be enlightened. Now, if you're expecting the month of April to bring any relief, you'd better think again (with whatever part of that ego of yours it is that masquerades as brain).

The month begins with the great Sol Invicti and Venus the goddess in a conjunction in the sign of Aries and your solar ninth house. If you fancy a brief affair with a young person of foreign extraction and a quick trip to New York to buy some new art works, then sail away little lions, especially with the benign aspects from Jupiter in Gemini in your solar eleventh house. But don't expect your mothers or wives or husbands or servants (all the same to you really) to do the laundry and housework while you're away. You go at the risk of a palace revolution with Sun and Venus squaring the Moon's Nodes in Cancer and Capricorn. And, with, Mercury the messenger in Pisces and your solar eighth house until the end of the first week, you'll probably find that your brother-in-law stockbroker will have embezzled all your funds to support some fundamentalist religious cause in a Middle East battle zone (Mercury square to Mars in Sagittarius). Just wait until the end of the first week of April when Mercury moves into Aries and then you can start complaining to the other in-laws about how badly you married. Then, when the FULL MOON comes on April 8th in the Libra and your solar third house, you might take up with the brother-in-law stockbroker's alluring and eccentric secretary and run away to live in a house by the sea. Of course, none of this rubbish could possibly happen but it's probably far more interesting than the drab, dull life you're actually living.

While Saturn the lord of fateful reward spends his last few days in Taurus and your solar tenth house, apart from hating your job, you might be spending some nostalgic hours looking over the photograph albums that have all the pictures of your triumphs in primary school drama competitions. You might also feel like polishing the athletic trophies you have in the cabinet (the ones you got by beating up the smaller kids who actually won them!). But come the end of the third week of April, Saturn moves into Gemini and your solar eleventh house of friends, associates and groups. With the sign of Gemini involved, you'll need to learn to communicate in sentences that don't always involve the word "I". Listening to other people and understanding their ideas will become a requirement. Foreign territory I know, but don't worry! It's only for two years or so. After that you can forget all about it and go back to being the way you were.

NEW MOON: This comes on April 23rd in the sign of Taurus and your solar tenth house. With Mercury there as well and Venus now moving forward in your solar ninth house, you'll have to drop all the pretense at romantic adventures and just get on with the job. However, the New Moon also squares mystic Neptune in your solar seventh house, so if you decide to start yet another affair with someone at the office, be warned! Your partner's probably already having one with the sibling or child of one of your co-workers, or with someone involved in the money trade.