Asperitus Casting Runes...
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- Hola, little bovine twits! When last we spoke, it was about money, lawsuits and petty theft. Let us put that behind us for the ides of miserable March will bring startling developments that may actually impinge, for a moment or two, on your generally leaden consciousness.
The month begins with a New Moon in ghastly Pisces, followed by a raft of cosmic activity too tedious to enumerate and the entrance of revolutionary Uranus into the sign of the tear-stained fishes as well. All this activity in your solar eleventh house is bound to do something, even for creatures as stodgy and reluctant as you. You may form new friendships. Or perhaps you may forge an intimate relationship with an item of furniture you have mistaken for a friend as it is almost as intelligent as yourself and never answers back when you utter one of those idiotic platitudes that are the hallmark of your cretinous sign. You may even have an original idea or two, or at least you may browse, (whilst waiting for an irksome dental appointment) through a journal in which the concept of original ideas is discussed and thus ask your friends (or the aforementioned item of furniture) what it all means. As is the custom in these matters, all the answers will be confusing (as almost everything is if you can't eat it, drink it, have sex with it or get a good hourly rate for doing it). And, in addition to that, you find yourself with a large bill from one of your friends who turned out to be a life coach and thought you were seriously seeking advice.
Come the Full Moon in Virgo and your solar fifth house, you consider taking up tantric yoga or cabinet-making while nose deep in a cup of your favourite beverage. As the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger move into rambunctious Aries and your solar second house, you give up all thought of original ideas and start a new job to earn extra money. As Venus the goddess conjoins with revolutionary Uranus, you christen the item of furniture 'Bjorn' or 'Anna-Frid' after your favourite member of ABBA and begin to discuss a deeper commitment. Farewell, little bovine twits, until next time!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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