Astrology on the Web - Tiresome Taurus

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Asperitus Casting Runes...

The Oracle of Bitter Truth for December 2001
TIRESOME TAURUS...

Hail, Taurannosaurus Ox, bull dinosaur of the modern era! Hail to your craggy face, your broad shoulders, your thick neck, your thicker girth and your even thicker skull!

Has it struck you as odd that your association with beauty and symmetry through the rulership of Venus the goddess is countermanded completely by the pedestrian nature of your sign and the gargantuan appetites it produces? This paradox has come to our attention, little things of horn and hoof. It is yet further evidence of the lunatic nature of the universe and the insane gods that rule it! Now, what can I say to insult you further? Nothing really, as I’ve already used too many long words that have a conceptual element. Let’s turn our attention to the vile and bitter prognostications for the month of deleterious December. Hark to me, bullish things! I prognosticate!

The FULL MOON (a blue moon for some) launches you into deleterious December with a blaze of light in Gemini, opposing the great Sol Invicti in Sagittarius and your solar eighth house, the ruler of inheritance, taxes, genitalia, graveyards, bankruptcy and death. This should give you some idea of the possible scope of your activities. Normally, you’d be over-sexed all the time and overspent in no time at all, especially as Venus the goddess moves into the sign of the centaur early in the month. But, as you’re a prisoner on a riverboat, bound for a tiny island in the Java Sea, none of these options really matter. You continue to be the sexual plaything of your captors, but you do learn further startling possibilities provided by the Grecian art of wrestling in the practice of unrestrained sexual gratification (by others in this instance rather than yourself, unfortunately).

You may note that one meaning of the word 'deleterious’ is 'injurious to moral conduct or fibre’ so it’s use in the context of this month is apt indeed. In fact, little bullish things, your moral fibre is going down the drain rapidly as is the very fibre of your being under this constant assault upon the body and the senses. However, as a quantity of alcohol and narcotic is added to the mix, you hardly notice. Thus, you arrive at your overseas destination blindly oblivious to your perilous plight, if suffering a little wear and tear. The tiny island proves to be something of a hotbed of civilized decadence and, as mighty Mars moves into Pisces and your solar eleventh house, you find yourself enslaved, working in a Men’s Club for naval personnel with a common interest in photography. And, as Chiron the wounded healer moves into Capricorn and your solar ninth house, your abductors put you into an anti-terrorist training program for airline personnel. The rich tapestry of your life has gone drastically awry, little bullish things!

When the NEW MOON comes in Sagittarius and your solar eighth house and Venus the goddess conjoins with underworld Pluto, you fall deeply in lust with a dark-eyed foreigner. This shadowy individual has a penchant for sex in graveyards on a pile of bankruptcy notices while wearing her/his grandmother’s cameo broach and watched by an official from the IRD, fulfilling many of the underworld possibilities of your eighth house. Needless to say, you’re never entirely bored or exactly comfortable while the affair lasts.

However, as mighty Mars wrestles with sober Saturn, lord of fateful reward and the great Sol Invicti moves into Capricorn and your solar ninth house, your abductors tell you that it’s time to begin working for your keep. They tell you that you’re to be sent you off as an airline steward/stewardess on the next plane to Java. This is your chance, little steaks on the hoof! Given the right situation, you could escape your abductors with speed of thought and reflex! Despite the fact that you fail to notice the fatal flaw in the plan (the speed bit, especially where thought is concerned), you set out on your debut flight. Like magic, the moment arrives as mighty Mars makes cosmic mayhem with underworld Pluto. Armed terrorists appear on the plane and your evil abductors are among the first to be taken hostage! What will you do, little leather jackets and shoes to be? Will you now hunt with the hounds, having run with the hares? Will you side with the terrorists and desert your first load of passengers for the sake of freedom? Next month will reveal all if the drugs I’m currently taking wear off in time.