Astrology on the Web - Vexatious Virgo

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Asperitus Casting Runes...

The Oracle of Bitter Truth for July 2001
VEXATIOUS VIRGO...

Greetings, valiant virgins! Welcome to the month of July and much good may you have of it. You may feel that you're relaxed and ready to face the coming trials. This could well be so, as long as it is remembered that the word 'relaxed' in your case means strung out as tight as a violin string and worrying obsessively about everything within the framework of your perception. If we are in agreement, then I can proceed, though I am mindful of the fact that receiving the blessing of agreement from a virgin is about as likely as a homosexual relationship between the current pontiff and the Dalai Llama. You may read the previous sentence any way you choose.

As you proceed into July with the requisite expressions (i.e. carping, disapproving, grim distaste) all suitably rehearsed and ready for use, you may find the hangover of health problems and shattered love nests still troubling your 'always anxious' brow. Lady Moon in Scorpio is dancing with Venus the goddess and revolutionary Uranus to ensure that all is not well, especially with regard to communications and movement. With the continued ill-feeling from your teacher at the Swiss Academy of Surface-Wiping, the FULL MOON that comes on July 5th in Capricorn, bringing a lunar eclipse, causes you to re-evaluate your position. Are your hopes and wishes with regard to carrying out the plan to achieve a state of global hygiene an empty dream or are they really achievable?

You begin to doubt, good virgins, and when the virgin begins to doubt, it's cold sores and ulcers galore. Not for you the simple process of doubt we mere mortals engage in! No! For you, doubt is an artwork of renaissance proportion. Then, as giant Jupiter, monarch of the Heavens and Mercury the messenger conjoin and move into Cancer and your solar eleventh house, thoughts of home, family and friends begin to trouble you. You prefer to nag people you're familiar with rather than foreigners and strangers. And even though the Swiss have miraculously clean toilets and bathrooms, you prefer the toilets and bathrooms of home, provided for the exclusive use of yourself and those whose personal habits you can verify.

Then, on July 15th, with Venus the goddess and Saturn conjoining in Gemini and your solar tenth house, the Swiss Academy offers you a certificate of graduation of the highest merit, six years prematurely. They do this because they can no longer bear the to be continually put to shame by your exceptional standards and constant criticism of their methods. And then, to top this all off, you find that on July 18th, with Mercury the messenger making mischief with revolutionary Uranus and mystic Neptune, a creeping discomfort returns to the newly healed finger joints. With mighty Mars in Sagittarius and your solar fourth house going direct on July 19th, you've had enough. You decide to go home!

Taking your usual amount of time to get things organized, you're on the plane back home by the NEW MOON in Cancer and your solar eleventh house on July 20th. But, with the great Sol Invicti moving into Leo and your solar twelfth house on July 22nd, you decide to keep a low profile and make plans for the future. You're a certificated crusader for global hygiene now and home is the best place to begin your crusade. But, as Mercury the messenger moves into Leo and your solar twelfth house on July 30th, things begin to go wrong. Tune in next month and find out, little virgins. Won't that give you something to worry about!