Asperitus Casting Runes...
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- My dear little bovine nitwits! How are you this month? Well, I trust, and running around on your attractive little hoofs! Good! Now, sit down and hark to me, oafish ones! For I am Asperitus, the oracle of bitter truth and I hereby prognosticate!
A New Moon comes in your brutish sign, little bulls, but mighty Mars and odious Neptune are involved in the configuration. Thus you give up your unhealthy attachment to furniture and take employment in the liquor trade or as an anaesthetist in an alternative medical clinic. However, with Mercury the messenger retrograde in your sign, confusion strikes. You can't communicate with your fellows. You talk incoherently to yourself. You fail constantly at all transactions involving electronic banking. You resign from this new employment and flee home to the safety of your bevy of dove-tailed companions. You admire their lovingly polished surfaces.
As Mercury clashes with mighty Mars and mystic Neptune, the excesses of your devotion pass forever from the realms of polite description (not that I know a lot about such realms). However, come the Full Moon in brooding Scorpio that brings a lunar eclipse, the veil of delusion falls from your eyes. Great heavens, little bulls! You're no longer in love with a chest of drawers. Venus the goddess moves into your sign and you sell your old furniture, buy a new collection and move into the world of flesh and blood people to find a real person with whom to sate your bovine desires. Mercury the messenger moves direct, squaring giant Jupiter. You make witty remarks and use exaggerated gestures as you cavort and display yourself.
As the great Sol Invicti clashes with revolutionary Uranus, you're offered a job in the communications industry. Then, when Mercury conjoins with Venus the goddess to clash with mystic Neptune, you fall passionately in love with your new employer who happens to be as rich as Croesus. Come the New Moon in Gemini that brings a solar eclipse, all your financial problems have disappeared and your life is one long round of sexual and financial extravagance. Enjoy it while it lasts, little boofheads! Because it won't last long! See you next month!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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