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TIRESOME TAURUS...

Go Back  The Irksome Journeys of June 2003    Go Forward
Greetings, odious oafs of the bullish persuasion! No niceties! No nastiness! Just vile and bitter prognostications, written by my inestimable self about your worthless selves! Read on!

As giant Jupiter and mystic Neptune cavort with the great Sol Invicti, you visit a fortune-teller who paints your future in glowing terms, little bullish ninnies! You're loaded with funds from your new sexual liaison and wondering what to do. Sober Saturn, the lord of fateful reward moves into Cancer and your solar third house. You reflect upon ideas that will make your fortune. You think weighty thoughts as you watch the cattle trucks pass the busy intersection just up the road from your home. You consult with elderly relatives. You formulate plans and strategies so serious you cannot communicate them to anyone else (there is some mercy in the universe after all).

Mighty Mars clashes with Venus the goddess and you attend a party with your new love. However, you have a startling sexual encounter in the attic of the house with a person from the liquor trade who imports Swedish beer. Charged up with this salacious infidelity, you decide to get out of the communications industry and go into business on your own. Naturally, you choose illicit sex.

As the great Sol Invicti opposes underworld Pluto, you plunge your newfound wealth into a house of ill-repute. You thus kill two birds with one stone as you have a profitable new business in the flesh trade and by dint of this gain access to endless personal gratification for your own desires.

Venus the goddess moves into your second house, testing revolutionary Uranus and money pours in by the bucket load. Though, as Mercury the messenger squares Mars the warrior, your new lover finds out about your sexual profligacy and you have a fierce row that ends in a rain of beer bottles (several of them Swedish).

All goes well on the business front though and when Mercury follows Venus into Gemini, you hire an accountant instead of keeping your money in a pair of unwashed socks under your mattress, left foot for the coins and right foot for the notes. At the Full Moon in Sagittarius and your solar eighth house, you're the lord of lascivious pursuits, the baron of bare buttocks and the count of shapely calves at the newly named House of Flesh.

As mighty Mars clashes with the Lunar Nodes, you break up with your new partner, jettison the Swedish beer importer and descend into the flesh pots of your own domain. As mighty Mars enters Pisces and your solar eleventh house, you decide to do charitable works, to assuage a moderately guilty conscience and create a cover for your nefarious activities.

At the Solstice when the great Sol Invicti moves into Cancer, you set up a shelter for the homeless in the sheds at the back of the House of Flesh. You then cull this gathering assembly of itinerants for new staff and apply for government funds for a work opportunity scheme.

Come the New Moon in Cancer, you're loaded, sated and smugly self-satisfied. Great Heavens, little bullish types! You may even be happy. But where is the fly in the massage oil that will bring the doom I promised? Click here next month to read another exciting installment.




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Click here to go to Pisces Click here to go to Aquarius Click here to go to Capricorn Click here to go to Sagittarius Click here to go to Scorpio Click here to go to Libra Click here to go to Virgo Click here to go to Leo Click here to go to Cancer Click here to go to Gemini Click here to go to Taurus Click here to go to Aries


Aries, the Ram
Aries, the Ram

Taurus, the Bull
Taurus, the Bull

Gemini, the Twins
Gemini, the Twins

Cancer, the Crab
Cancer, the Crab

Leo, the Lion
Leo, the Lion

Virgo, the Virgin
Virgo, the Virgin

Libra, the Scales
Libra, the Scales

Scorpio, the Scorpion
Scorpio, the Scorpion

Sagittarius, the Archer
Sagittarius, the Archer

Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Capricorn, the Sea Goat

Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Aquarius, the Water Bearer

Pisces, the Fishes
Pisces, the Fishes

 
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